A forgotten page from a diary!


Today, was the last exam of my tenth standard, the first level of crossing for an individual…this exam decides the physical state of a person…I have done it too today…this exam results will unfold my future and I will know what I am to become or pursue to live the life I breath in.

I have done my exams well and hope to fair well in my life too, but never know what is in store for you unless you stand on the verge of the upstream…!

So have to wait for the two month time, for the results to come in and then decide…meanwhile I have two months of a time…what should I be doing with it.

Obviously, will be going to my native town…where I will join a whole lot of cousins and friends near-by…loads of fun with games and television, movies and talking…will happen.

I have this strange heavy feeling in my heart, I am not able to overcome…what is it? Not sure…I seem to be liking this feeling for a certain episode is running in my mind again…and again and again…like those movies where the heroine sits on a table, or cot, or in the car, or in the bus…just recollects some scene again and again and there it follows a song sequence…

Can I hear music….nah…nah…but something of a melody flows by…!

I can’t forget the way he ran to my vehicle and gave me my rubber back to me…Oh! I had almost forgotten the little thing that I had…it was a spare one I had.

He had causally asked for it…before going to the exam as he had forgotten to bring his…!

I did not know why he took so much of a pain to return it to me…he could have kept it with him…as I had informed him that it was a spare one…he had also said while taking it from me…“I want to talk to you, once you finish the exam wait for me…”

I had asked him what was it, he said…“Wait for me…All the best” and walked off…I stood there gapping at his back as he walked away to his examination room…I recollected myself and walked over to mine…for few minutes, I kept pondering then the exam question papers arrived and the fear of unknown questions took over my brain cells.

When it was just another 30 minutes for the exam to end once again the memory flashed its agony and I wondered what it could be and I was gripped with some unknown bitter sweet sensation that did not let go…I walked out with the satisfaction of having done the best and to my astonishment I found my dad and mom waiting for me just outside the school entrance…I did not know they were coming and I found it really exciting to find them…my little sister was also with them…!

They had come to pick me up and we were off to something nicer after my exams. I was thrilled and forgot all about somebody asking me to wait…and the excitement.

I rushed to meet my other friends with whom I used to always hang out and then started leaving when I heard the final bell go off in the school premises…!

Then like a lighting bolt, it struck me, the words that drained in my ears…“wait for me…”

I turned around and looked for that familiar face, but could not find it in the swarm of school kids who were running out of the exams halls relieved that the dreading exams are over and there is no more of study for at least two months in a row….!

I heard the call of my impatient parents asking me to hurry, and rhyming with the strike of heart and my eyes that was asking to locate that face, that wanted to convey something to me….where is he?

Oh! Now, where did he disappear, I saw him coming out of the exam hall…walking briskly and talking gaily along with his friends…from the smile of his face I could make out it his exam went well….!

By then, I had reached the jeep that was waiting for me to hop in and leave any minute…my dad asked me to jump in…and I looked at him and nodded with my eyes drawn away from his sight and looking at the doorway of the hall and trying to catch those pair of eyes…that beheld my thoughts right now!

Hmm…he was so busy talking to his friends and did not notice me…I found my dad looking at me and at the direction where I was looking, I mumbled…‘I had given my eraser to him in the morning…I want it back…’

He smiled, ‘You can take it when your school re-opens or it is just a rubber, leave it you can buy more…’

I just nodded in agreement and reluctantly hopped into the jeep, my sister had already kept the hind door open…damn, my sister.

I got in and attempted to close the door, the engine started running and the jeep was in motion…I was peeping out to the open enclosure at the hind door and found him walking and running towards my jeep…I screamed…‘Wait, a second…and turned to find my parents, driver and sister looking at me…horrified, I said ‘My rubber…..’

I could hear giggles…and then turned around to find him at the door of the jeep and he said, ‘Here, your rubber, Rani…thanks it was of great help. Happy holidays and see you on the day of results…See ya’

I said, ‘See…ya, well you can keep the rubber will collect it on the day of results…why did you run to return it…? Anyways, now exams are over will not require it much {smile}’

{Smile and I saw a hand wave}

“Yeah, let’s go…we are late…” I heard my dad say.

All I could do is wave my hand and tried asking him by drawing circles and angles in the air and make him understand what was he trying to say to me in the morning and the jeep had moved him out of my sight just like a speck of a dirt on a white shirt….visible enough but can’t do much about it!

I still don’t know what he wanted to say and this thought is getting me restless and I want to days to roll by so that the day of exam results come…and I know my little secret.

What could it be….?

PS: A fictional incomplete thought of an adolescent from the diary!

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