Archive for January, 2010

Tips on Naming Mallu Kids :)

Take a look at this group on orkut – Fraud Mallus 😉 it says –
This group is open to all Mallus brought up outside Kerala and whose Malayalam is pathetic.
If you get your ass taken about your Malayalam every time you visit Mallu Land, if nosey and nasal relatives make you stick out like a sore thumb… then you’ll fit right in.

Just so you know ..this group has been made by one kannadiga-mallu and one gujrati-mallu. Let your virthiketta malayalam flow.. ! 

Coming to similar sounding names. Here’s a list of FMs I had with me in school:

Biju, Jibu, Shibu, Jooby

Now there was this guy who studied with me in college and his name was Dalu. I guess he was his parents ‘darling’, but then what happened when the next ‘darling’ came along? Simble, really – they name him “Dal”. I think they stopped having kids after that since they didnt get any volunteers to take the place of the third kid from “Kids Heaven” or whatever factory they come from.

Here is the kicker. I know a girl named “Fridgy”.

Well, I kept the smile down when I heard it. But that was only till I heard the reason for the name. She was born at rounf about the same time as the family bought the ‘Fridge’.

Man, was she lucky. Imagine, a little here or there and she could have ended up being called, “Washy” or “Vaccummy”, “Gassy”, maybe “Phoney”. Or worse, what if she was born when the bought the flat (apartment), the poor girl would have to go through life called “Flatty”!!!!!

You cant beat this one.my friend was called shibu.wen his brother came along, the parents didnt name him ribu or gibu the usual way.they were innovative evn by mallu standards.they interchanged the syllables of shi-bu and named. him bu-shi

Statutory Warning: If you are not South Indian it might be pointless reading further!
 
Extra Statutory Warning: If you are a mallu with the pride of Kerala in your head DON”T read any further!!
 
It has been a well kept secret for eons, shrouded in mystery and mazes of deceit, but finally Itty Boben Jacob Alias Kuruvilla from Pazhookaville, near Thalasherry, Kerala has consented to let us publish this classified mallu formula, on the naming of mallu christian kids.

1. Select a combination of both the mother and fathers names. 
Eg: Suresh and Sharon = Susha.
or Joseph and Beena = Jobi.
 
2. The addition of a ‘mon’ (meaning son) or ‘mol’ (meaning daughter) is optional.
Eg: Sushamol, Jobimon
 
3. To attach a modern anglicised feel to the names, the mol or mon can be replaced with boy or girl.
Eg: Jobiboy, Sushagirl.
 
4. For the politically correct keralite family, mol and mon can be replaced by the universal ‘kutty'(child), which can be used for both boys and girls!

Eg: Jokutty, Susikutty
 
Even parents having combination names can still give their children suitable names
Eg: Libi and Jobi = Lijo
 
However, in the scenario where the parents already have combination names that cannot form more comprehensible child names.

Eg: Itty and Amukutty, would produce only Itam (which doesn’t even sound like a name!)
or Amit (which is like Northie and stuff!!!!),
 
Then,
a. use an English word like Baby, Merry, Titty, Pearly, Smiley, Anarchy, etc.
 
b. use a combination of two English names that you think sound cool (but never cool enough)
like Meredith + Gina = Megi 
or Sharon + Darlene = Sharlene
 
c. Use a name from the Bible (and not Nebuchadnezzar! Use one that even velliammachi can pronounce!)
like Jacob, Sam, John, Joseph, Mathew, or Jijo!
 
d. Use a name that sounds like a cuss word but isn’t.
Eg: Boben, Prussy, Shagi, JustinTimberlake etc.
 
Note: The use of the letter ‘j’ is useful in the naming of sibling where names that sound alike are a novelty.
Eg: Ajji, Sajji, Majji, Bhajji and Nimajji, or Sijo, Lijo, Jijo, Anjo, Panjo, Banjo.
 

Q. What do you call a mallu kid who sticks his nose into other people’s business?
A. Pokemon!!!!!

PS: I got this as a mail and can afford to post this because I am a Mallu

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Life

Life is….

“Leaving the house in the morning,

dressed in clothes that you brought

on credit card for work, driving through

the traffic in a car that you are still

paying for, putting in fuel that you

cannot afford, in order to get to the

job that you hate but need so badly

so that you can pay for the clothes, and

fuel and the house that you leave empty

the whole day, in order to live in it”.

 

PS: At some point sounds quite true.